so, yeah. bye.

i know i havent blogged in ages. i dont care. i never stick to anything. the only reason i am doing it now is cos i need to get everything out of my system, and i know hardly anyone reads this anymore. i dont know whats got into me recently. i feel as if i have lost everything in my life. most of my friends have gone there own ways for college. my family hate each other, so i feel i dont have anyone in my life anymore. i try put on a brave face, but i cant do that for the rest of my life? i just want a family who love me, and friends who will do anything for me. i guess i cant get everything. i miss my grandads so much, its untrue. but i cant solve that. i have such a huge family, but they dont want anything to do with each other. and they dont understand that i need them, that i want them in my life. i actually have no one. the friends who i thought would do anything for me, just kick me to the side, and use me when it best fits them. im fed up of it. no one understands the stress i go through, and no one ever talks to me about it. my life is fucked up and i have no one at all to talk to. i have 2years left till uni. all i need to do is get my grades then im out. but i cant, i have too much on my mind and school work isnt one of them. my health is just getting worse and worse, but since you cant physically see what is wrong with me, no one cares. i cant deal with it. and little things that clairvoyant said just runs through the back of my mind all the time. i wish i didnt go. she really did up set me. i just want outs now. i want a famliy who love me, friends who care, and life worth living. so  im going to do something about all of this. and stick to it. so, my plan for this year is:
*move out
*save up
*try get in touch will all my family
*talk to my old friends again
*spend as much time with the family what i have
*stay on top of all my work
*do things for my self.
*figure out where my life is going.

so yeah. bye.